


stay with me

by losersclaia



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-24
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2019-01-04 23:48:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12178875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/losersclaia/pseuds/losersclaia
Summary: Jace struggles with the consequences of coming back to life. Simon is there for him.





	stay with me

**Author's Note:**

> big shout out to my beta AnnCherie !! ( sunjimon on tumblr)

Simon knocked on the door. Silence greeted him. He knocked again. 

He wanted to check on Jace. Everybody assumed he was alright after coming back from death, because it was Jace. Strong and fearless. But they had never died. They didn't know the feeling that could break even the strongest person. They didn't feel the emptiness in their hearts like something is missing. Simon still does, even if he died so long ago. He still feels it every single day of his life. He hides it pretty well, because he's grateful to be semi alive, but knowing Jace he probably will hide it more. Simon feels the need to know if he's alright. It's his responsibility. 

“Hey, buddy, you ok? Can I come in?” All he heard was a quiet hum in response. 

He slowly walked into the dark room, in shock at the state of shadowhunter's room. The room was completely torn apart. The desk was broken in half, curtains were hanging with holes in it, doors to the bathroom were taken of their hinges. A big blood stain laid on the carpet near the shattered mirror hanging on the wall.  
In the other corner of the room on the bed laid Jace. He was curled up in blanket like it could protect him from all the bad things in world. He was completely covered with the blanket so Simon couldn't see him, but he could hear sobbing. Loud and shameless sobbing so strong that his whole body was shivering. 

Simon felt helpless. He knew exactly what Jace was going through but if he couldn't help himself, how could he help the shadowhunter? 

When his dad had died all he wanted was closeness of others. He wanted his mom but she lost herself in drinking and he had no one but Clary. She helped him fill up the emptiness he felt. 

When he died and Clary had decided she wanted to bring him back he was so angry. He should have had stay dead. Dead was better than numb pain in his chest and the emptiness in his heart, his traumatized brain re-watching the moment he died again and again. All he wanted was closure to help fill the missing part of him that will never come back. This time Clary was too busy and his family was not an option so he was alone. He was scared and sad, and sometimes he still is because no one cared enough to ask if he's ok. 

He doesn't want the same thing for Jace. 

Simon took a step into the room and closed the door. He wasn't sure of every move he was making. He's never comforted people, Clary did, but now she's too busy again. And Jace can handle it right? He's a big guy they say. That's so untrue. 

He took a deep breath and walked toward the bed, then sat on the other side of it. Personal space and consent of touching was important to Simon after he turned. He felt like every touch was burning his skin. 

“You know when I died I needed someone to be there for me, there was no one," he started off. 

Jace's whole body tensed and it looked like he was trying to control the sobbing so he'd stop shaking but he just couldn't. 

Simon wasn't blaming him for it. 

“I never thought I'd relate to someone on this thing but here we are, right?” he laughed a bit. “What I'm trying to say is... you can talk to me no matter what hour or day. I'll always make some time...for you." 

So they sat there in silence. Simon knew it was important to give him time, so he just sat there on the bed with crossed legs waiting. Five minutes, fifteen, thirty, fifty. 

“I just feel so...numb inside it hurts so much,” Jace finally sobbed. “And I can't cure it with an iratze, why?”

Simon's heart ached at the tone of Jace's voice. It was an unusual situation he had never seen the blonde in. Fragile, sad and so hopeless.

“Because it's not physical pain, it's in your head and you can't do anything about it. I know it's not really a good thing to hear but you just have to learn to live with it..." 

Simon took a risky step and sat closed to Jace. He was facing the shadowhunters back still. "I did." 

When Simon was very little and afraid of literally everything his mom would sleep with him. They would watching glow in the dark space stickers on Simon's ceiling and Elaine would rub his back with her hand, making circles and other patterns. It always made him feel safe and calmed him. 

So Simon really slowly put his hand on Jace's back and started rubbing it really lightly. Jace shivered at touch at first, but then he slowly leaned into it and pulled himself closer to Simon's body. The vampire laid down next to Jace still rubbing his back. 

“I'll help you, I promise,” Simon whispered. 

He felt Jace moving and then the blanket was off of his face. He slowly turned to Simon.  
He looked deeply into his eyes. They were all red and swollen and his cheeks were rosy. 

“Thank you,” he said quietly.  
They stayed silent just looking into each other's eyes. It was comforting for both of them, having someone with same experience, someone who shared the same thing.  
Simon didn't know why but he found himself getting closer to Jace and then he kissed Jace's forehead.  
When he came back to his position he realised it was weird and he shrugged. 

“I'm just gonna...go now.” He sat up from his place and then got up. 

Just when he was about to get away from bed he felt a grab on his wrist. It was gentle but strong. He looked at Jace's hand, full of cuts and drained blood probably from shattered mirror he saw before. The look on his face was so desperate and needing his heart broke. He just couldn't leave him like everybody left him.

“Stay with me, please,” Jace said so quiet that the brunette almost didn't hear it. 

Simon stood there for a few seconds thinking, but came back to bed and laid in the same place he was before.  
Jace still held his hand, this time lighter, not afraid he'd disappear.


End file.
